Dear Perfectionist Muslimah,
Another week of Ramadan unfolds and if like me you may have had many hopes and dreams of elusive perfect moments—the ideal Du'aa, the flawless uninterrupted Dhikr, the impeccable iftaar spread, the beautiful, instagram worthy one-on-one Ramadan activity/bonding time with your little one (yelling-free) or the late night peaceful prayer by the fireplace, with all your fairy lights and fancy lanterns.
But what if I told you that such a moment may never arrive? What if I revealed that perfection isn't the expectation placed upon us by Allah?
Allah didn't create us to be perfect, nor this world for that matter, but rather He created us to seek His perfection. So, we may never find that perfect moment to do that 'ibadah we yearn for or that perfect bonding moment with your child.
So what should we do?
Just start somewhere and do it
and...
leave the rest to Allah.
So I want you to think of your Ramadan goals in the same way. We may have regressed, slipped, got angry, or struggled to fulfill them, remember that it's all part of our journey as imperfect beings striving for His perfection. Just come back.
Ramadan is a journey of self-improvement alhamdulillah and there's a profound lesson in the Du'aa of Sayyid al-Istighfar where our beloved Prophet (SAW) teaches us to say:
اللّٰهُمَّ أَنْتَ رَبِّي، لَا إِلٰهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ، خَلَقْتَنِيْ وَأَنَا عَبْدُكَ، وَأَنَا عَلَى عَهْدِكَ وَوَعْدِكَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُ، أَعُوْذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا صَنَعْتُ، أَبُوءُ لَكَ بِنِعْمَتِكَ عَلَىَّ وَأَبُوءُ لَكَ بِذَنْبِيْ، فَاغْفِرْ لِيْ، فَإِنَّهُ لَا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوْبَ إِلَّاأَنْتَ۔
"And I am under your covenant and pledge to fulfill it to the best of my ability."
This Ramadan, let's embrace the essence of striving rather than striving for perfection.
As Surah Al Taghabun 64:16 Allah encourages us to strive to the best of our ability, acknowledging that we may stumble and make mistakes along the way.
فَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ مَا ٱسْتَطَعْتُمْ
"be mindful of God as much as you can"
It is through our imperfections that we find growth and resilience.
I cant leave you without an action item! Something to make sure you work on insha'Allah! Change doesn't happen just by reading.
Action Item:
Reflect on a recent moment last week when you felt the need to be perfect. How can you take one step this week to push yourself out of your perfectionist comfort zone?
Embrace imperfection, dear Muslimah, for it is the pathway to progress.
Strive for new heights,